Saturday, 10 August 2013

Top Five Horror Movie Snack/Drink Combinations For Troll 2!

OK, so perhaps it's not a Top Five as such, more a 'Five', but what the hey. I advise you try them all out on Troll 2 (I've bunged a link to the trailer of at the bottom). It's a challenge worthy of us all, trust me.

5. Evian and low fat flavoured crackers with low fat dips
The kind of thing you never want to eat during a horror movie. Possibly more horrifying than the actual movie itself. Unless you're watching Troll 2. However, it will impress anyone who thinks movie snacks are nothing more than heart attack building blocks.

4. Non-alcoholic wine/beer and crudités with humus
Non-alcoholic wine is horrible. Non-alcoholic beer can be passable. Crudités are wrong. And humus is little more than garlic-flavoured semolina. None of this works. At all. But consume while wearing a black polar neck, and people will take you for a famous film critic and actually listen to what you say. So annoy them with pithy comments throughout the movie - yes, even if it is Troll 2 - and enjoy them agreeing with you, even if you don't actually agree with yourself.

3. Coke and crisps, with dips a plenty
There is no such thing as Too Many Crisps. Trust me on this. I have a horror mate who can consume - possibly through osmosis - at least three bags of Kettle Chips per movie. So never feel that you've turned up with too many. Crisps are a joy. A little addictive. And there's something about stopping with a huge handful only millimetres from your mouth as something truly shocking happens on screen. Like the opening credits to Troll 2. As for the coke, that'll keep you awake for that inevitable 11pm moment when you find yourself saying, yes, of course we've got time to watch another...

2. Wine and french bread, with brie/camembert
This is only at number 2 because it involves wine. And wine makes lots of things good. Even Troll 2. Apparently. Anyway, wine and bread and cheese. Sounds a bit 70s, doesn't it? What's not to love? Get out your VHS, pull out the tapes of Suspiria and Black Christmas, and get to it. Flares would add to the whole joyous event I'm sure.

1. Beer and pizza, with doughnuts
I have, as yet, found nothing to beat this combination. Beer is brilliant. Pizza is ace. Doughnuts are the greatest invention known to mankind. Pile a table high with such treats, slap on a disc of your favourite terror, and you're onto a winner. Troll 2 will even be a thing to love with this combo, I assure you.

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