Thankfully, Last House On The Left (LHOTL) hasn't got people buying chainsaws (goodness, that's a scene from the original, isn't it?) or microwaves (worst way to end a remake ever). But this film does make me sit up and think, "So, Dave, why DO you love this film so much?"
LHOTL is a relentless movie. It's heartbreaking, violent, terrifying, and (IMO) brilliant. I like the original. But I love the remake. For me, the parents in the remake push me to that point where (i think) horror really does rock: they force me to think, "What would you do, Dave? WHAT?"
I love that.
No spoilers here, but when "that moment" happens, and you know it's going to kick off, you're thinking, "yeah, now what would I do? And what chance would I stand?" Not least because the people they're up against, most notably the "Dad" in the other family, is a hard ass.
We all think we could, at a push, save our families. Take anyone on. Really hammer them. We all have a deep, dark side of us that knows we would take what is ever at hand, sharpen it, and use it to rip the face off anyone who came even CLOSE to getting at our nearest and dearest.
It isn't like that in real life. It can't be. And I know.
Well, our tent was robbed. Sounds rubbish, right? Ooh, a tent! Yeah. But imagine...
You're in a tent, fast asleep. With your family. You wake up and realise someone - ANYONE - has been into your tent, rummaged around, and stolen money. AND NOT ONE OF YOU WOKE UP.
Think what they could've done. Think what they could've taken.
That's scary. I mean, you want to go full on LHOTL on them, right? You want to wake up and really go for it. And by go for it I mean grab them and smash them and rip them to pieces for having the gall to creep into your space and threaten your family. IMAGINE what you would do...
Which is why I LOVE LHOTL. Because it gives me a moment to think, you know what? If someone did that to my family, the people I loved? And in that situation? And if everything was in my favour? Yeah, I would. I'd do that.
And that's what the film does. It suggests what you'd do. It suggests what you might consider. And it allows the heroes to get away with it.
That's not what real life does. But, perhaps, by exploring the darker side of what we'd do if the poop really smashed itself into the fan, we all get a better understanding of what really drives us.
And we all know we'd do what they do in that film, don't we? Don't we...